


Scared to death

by RecordBreaker



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Timelines, Clint Barton Needs a Hug, Crossing Timelines, Deaf Clint Barton, Fake Character Death, Feels, Fluff and Angst, Jarvis (Iron Man movies) is a Good Bro, M/M, SO MUCH SARCASM, Tony Stark Has A Heart, clint might be even more sarcastic than tony
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-18
Updated: 2019-06-20
Packaged: 2019-10-12 17:58:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17472272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RecordBreaker/pseuds/RecordBreaker
Summary: Based on the prompt:Person A, at B’s funeral: Can I have a moment alone with them?Person C: Of course *leaves*Person A, leaning over B’s coffin: Now listen, I know you’re not dead.Person B: Yeah no shitor the one in which Tony dies. But Clint has been on the planning side of Tony's "pranks" one too many times to really believe. What follows is what you would expect from two men who are mentally 12 - and have a budget of a few billion dollars to spend.*new chapter weekly*





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Now just as kind of a warning, there is some talk about death, and mentions of suicide. So, if these topics are very triggering for you, don't read.  
> Also the timelines are weirdly messed up, I've taken some creative liberties with that.

Tony Stark was dead. Those words seemed to echo everywhere one would wander in New York. Social media was flooded with posts about the billionaires passing, people were theorizing how he could've died. Because no one really knew. What Stark Industries had told the media was just as vague as people could've expected. Mr. Stark was found dead in his penthouse. That's all the public got, and strangely no one had pushed for any more information. For once people let Tony Stark be in peace.

* * *

Clint groaned as he made his way down the corridor in the Avengers tower while throwing the key of his new bike up and catching them again. Coulson apparently thought they needed to have another meeting, even though they just had one just a few days ago. At this point Clint had learned not to question the Agent, too much explaining to do if he did. So, he obediently walked into the common room of their shared floor. Everyone else was already sitting down - except for Bucky, who needed to stand behind the couch all mysterious- as Clint made his presence known. Stark was obviously missing as well, he was always late to these things.

"Okay so what's the emergency we're discussing?" Clint asked referring to Coulson's text, which had mentioned the need for urgent assembly. Clint hopped on to sit on the backrest of the couch, preferring the ever so slightly higher ground. Agent Coulson sighed as he got up from his spot in the armchair furthest from the group. He took a few steps forward, and balled his hands into fists. Clint was immediately completely focused, he knew something serious was going on.

"I didn't want to be the person to tell you this...I don't really think I'm the man for the job. So, today morning I received a call from Fury..." Coulson collected himself for a second, before shaking his head in a "you know what, fuck it" manner. "Stark is dead."

No one made a sound. Clint looked around to see if he had heard correctly, hoping this was just a hallucination. But the view was enough to tell him otherwise. His eyes firstly landed on Natasha, who looked a lot like she usually did. But Clint saw that underlying sadness and...was that fear?

Steve was completely frozen. He just looked ahead with not even a motion of breathing rocking his body. The only movement Clint could find was the single tear that slipped down his face. Bucky's hand was clasped tightly on Steve's shoulder, but his face didn't show anything. The contrast between the super soldiers was more than noticeable, but Clint knew they both were shaken by the news. 

Bruce was holding his face in his hands. Clint felt sorry for the man, he had just lost his best friend. Thor was standing right next to him, looking down. Many things might've been different in Asgard, but the loss of a friend, of a loved one was just as horrible anywhere in the universe. 

"Clint, open your fist, you're hurting yourself." Clint looked down at his hand which was indeed closed off in a tight fist. He slowly opened it, to reveal a bloodied key. He had forgotten that he was holding the key to his bike. It had created a small gash in his palm, but it didn't really hurt. He looked up at Nat, who was giving him the are-you-okay look. 

Was he okay? Clint really didn't know. In theory Clint should've hated Stark and wanted him dead. But something about that snark and sarcasm had felt so...homey to him. Against all odds, Tony had become a friend and quite a good friend in all honesty. Surprisingly, Stark had been the one to understand Clint's anxiety. Tony had known to give Clint space when the others had circled him, asking him if he was okay. Tony had known that Clint wasn't okay - to be honest, anyone with any common sense should realize that after everything the archer had gone through. The engineer had left him alone, and that was all Clint had needed. 

Now Clint was just worried, if he had left Tony alone when he shouldn't have. What if the PTSD had gotten the best of Tony? Maybe the pressure had snapped him...

"How?" That was all Clint could get out of his mouth. He was aware that what Coulson would say next could be even more terrifying than anything the team had allowed themselves to think. Clint just wanted to know.

"The cause of death is not completely certain yet. They think it could be some battle injuries left unnoticed." 

Clint nodded. At least it wasn't the worst possibility that had crossed his mind.

* * *

The team didn't really speak of it afterwards. They spoke very little altogether after Tony's passing. They had short conversations during breakfast, and they exchanged a few words if they came across each other. Clint didn't even speak to Nat, which in any other case would have driven Natasha crazy. But this time the assassin gave Clint his space, and he appreciated it.

The next time they really had to deal with the elephant in the room, was when Jarvis out of all of them had asked the team to meet up in the common room. Apparently Tony had a will. None of the team members had known that Tony had mentioned any of them in the will. But the man had been full of surprises alive, what would change after his death?

"Thank you all for coming to hear Mr. Stark's last wishes. We shall start immediately, there is no need to make this too painful." Jarvis's voice had been a rare sound after Tony's death, and it did give Clint a feeling of reassurance.

Most of the time Jarvis was listing the things the team had been given, Clint was a bit out of it. He did hear some of the thing Jarvis spoke, but when his name was said out loud, his concentration came back. In all honesty, Clint hadn't thought he would be given anything. He was the lesser of the team so to speak. 

"Mr. Barton, this is listed after your name. Mr. Stark has been working on some new technology, and he has some prototypes of nano-technology bows. He has given you all of the rights to them, as well as the authority to take any of the things he had created for hand-to-hand battle." Clint gave a small smile, a new bow would be incredible, but right now he would rather take the engineer behind the tech. "Mr. Stark has also left you the first model of Stark vehicles, the motorcycle he has given the code-name 0520-DSTNC. He has also added in the helmet that uses similar technology to the Iron Man helmets, named 1220-SRCSM."

Clint almost burst out laughing. Almost. 

* * *

It took everything in his power to not explode with laughter. He should've known. Clint decided to just continue with an act-he was good with that. Natasha was the only one who had a chance to notice anything, but taking in consideration the situation Clint considered himself safe. The archer nodded and informed the other that he'd take a moment to himself to go look through the things. The others let him go, it was difficult for them as well. 

The second Clint was out of the team's sight, he let the relieved smile take place on his face. Tony wasn't dead after all. There was no way. 0520-DSTNC and 1220-SRCSM. Those were their code names. Not the techs code names, no, Clint and Tony's. They had come up with them after their first prank. It had been the time they had purposefully left porn magazines under Steve's bed, most of them being gay magazines, as Steve hadn't still quite caught up with the times. They had waited for Steve to be in his room, when they had gone into "suggest a night out". Well, long story short they acted like they had just found out Steve's big secret. 

Clint gave a chuckle at the memory. The look on Steve's face was everything they could've asked for. Even after Steve threw books at them and one of them hit Clint's hearing aid...it had been so worth it. Stark did have to make some new aids for him though.

The archer made his way down to Stark's lab, which was now pretty much free territory. Before they would've had to fight to be able to even get in, let alone touch any of the stuff. As Clint walked in the lab door, he was suddenly hit with a million questions. The most important being: why? Why did Stark feel the need to do this? Clint was sure he'd find out sooner than later.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, just to clarify, these timelines are suuuuper messy. So if things seem like they should be 10 years apart...well just roll with it.  
> But anyway, this is I guess the prologue to a new story I'm having sooo much fun writing. I hope you guys like it:)  
> Updates will usually appear weekly, but the first 3(?) might be a bit quicker, to kind of get something actually out there. So yeah, hope you like this and sorry for all the weirdness and misspellings and stuff!:)


	2. Shakespeare in the park.

Clint spent a good amount of time in Tony's workshop. He looked through everything. Yes, it was nice to be able to actually touch the genius's inventions for once, but mostly Clint was just trying to find clues. Just something small that the others wouldn't notice, an object that should've been on the other side of the workshop or a screwdriver actually placed in it's correct place, not thrown on the workbench in a hurry. 

Clint had been searching for 15 minutes, yet he still hadn't found anything. For a marksman that could see the slightest change in less than a second, it was excruciating. He was sure there would be something, anything in the workshop. But he just couldn't find it. Sure, the amount of times Clint had actually been in the workshop more than twenty seconds was less than the amount of targets he had missed in his time of being an Avenger. So, very few. But Clint was sure that he should've seen the change by now. It wasn't as if he had only seen the workshop the times he had physically been in the room. He spent more than enough time looking at the new bows Tony had been working on from the...

Clint almost slapped himself as he understood. It was obvious. The archer moved over to one of the workbenches, stood up on it and reached up to remove the grill from the air vent. As he had placed it on the workbench, he lifted himself into the vent. And then froze. All this time, Tony had known that he used the vents. Which meant Tony knew that Clint had been watching Tony in the workshop...Clint was going to die.

He had barely managed to get in as he saw the small object in front of him. Clint crawled closer to the object and noticed it was a small package and a letter. He grabbed them, and dropped down from the vent. Clint's hands were shaking, which he wasn't sure why. He blamed it on excitement. In theory the situation was bad, but Clint would be lying to himself if he said that he didn't love the rush of keeping a secret that big.

Clint made sure no one was coming in to the workshop, and opened the letter.  _Jarvis knows._ It was the first thing Clint could read. Typical Tony, making sure they had a way out if things were to go wrong. What the things that could go wrong were? Clint had no idea.

"Jarvis?" Clint was quiet, just in case. There were a few super soldiers sneaking around the house after all.

"Yes Mr. Barton?"

"Could you lock the door? And tell me if someone's coming?"

"As you wish sir." 

Clint could hear the quiet sound of the door locking itself. After that he jumped back into the letter. It was written on a computer, of course. Clint sometimes wondered if Tony even knew how to use a pen anymore.

_"Well hello there 0520-DSTNC._

_I'm assuming you got the joke. And I hope you didn't break facade in front of the others. I would hate for Natasha to break someones ribs because of it._

_But to business. As you probably gathered, I'm not dead. Very much alive, actually...for now. I can't tell you much, but I do have a reason for my_ _disappearance. You'll find something very useful in the package. Make sure to wear it to my funeral, or this whole thing might blow. Oh yes, I'm having a funeral. This problem won't die in a day or two. You should prepare for that. Also, I've taken the liberty to get you a new suit for the funeral. The ones from your SHIELD days are way too...normal. You need to look like you're grieving the loss of the most inspiring person in your life, like you'll never smile again. That's the level I'm expecting. Also it's kind of a crucial part of my plan that it looks like you were the one that my death was the hardest on. And as we all know, there will be plenty of competition. So, better bring your Shakespeare._

_Your loving billionaire, 1220-SRCSM_

_PS. The suit is actually important. I'm not just telling you to wear it so you'd look good. If that was the case, I'd just tell you to attend the funeral naked. That if something would be dramatic. Now that I think of it..._

 

 

Clint smiled as he folded the letter once again. The relief was so strong now that he was certain that Tony was in fact alive. He hadn't lost his best genius. 

As he was about to go back up to join the others, Clint stopped himself. He couldn't go back up looking exactly the same as he had before leaving for the workshop. He needed to sell it to the others, that Tony's "death" was more than difficult for him. Right. He forced himself to shed a few tears, which he wiped away - leaving his eyes slightly red and the skin under his eyes just the right type of shiny. He ran his hand through his hair many times, just like he would if he really was as distraught as he was supposed to be. He paused in front of the only mirror in the workshop, checking his appearance. Almost perfect. The last bit was going to hurt, yet it was necessary. Clint knew he was very aggressive while sad.

* * *

 

Clint got out of the elevator, walking towards the common room. He had left his keys there earlier, not even on purpose, but it played out perfectly. The archer got closer to the people sitting - fewer than before. Bruce was gone, which Clint had predicted. Thor had also vanished. That wasn't too uncommon either. Steve, Bucky and Natasha were still sitting were they had been earlier. Clint could see a woman sitting with her face away from Clint. Not that he needed to see her face to recognize Pepper. Perfect.

Clint walked out of the shadows in the hallway. All the eyes were immediately on him. Steve looked shocked, he had never seen Clint like that. Bucky and Natasha were...well Bucky and Natasha. Pepper was looked completely broken. Clint guessed she didn't know and that hurt a bit. She didn't deserve this. Well, he had to deliver no matter what he was feeling.

"Clint? Are you...okay?" Steve's voice was more than careful, like he was talking to a small child.

"I'm fine." Clint looked into his eyes as he growled out the words, and he could see Steve physically flinch. Clint didn't say another word as he walked to the coffee table and picked up his keys to his bike. At the same time he made sure to face Steve in such a way that his left hand was visible to the super soldier.

"Clint...your hand?" Surprisingly it wasn't Steve who spoke. It was Bucky, who was sitting next to Captain. Bucky who had just used Clint's first name for the first time. Small wins every day, Clint thought. The archer froze. He lifted his hand up to inspect his busted knuckles, and then let his hand drop down to his side.

"I said I'm fine", Clint answered, his voice now getting closer to an actual growl than human speech. He walked around the couch that Pepper was sitting on. On purpose he walked as close to it as possible, to see if Pepper would take the bait. Soon a hand grabbed his arm, trying to turn him around. Pepper's voice was soft: "Barton..." Clint almost smirked. Perfect.

"BACK THE FUCK OFF!" 

His voice echoed from the walls of the huge room. Steve and Bucky were leaning back, showing that they weren't a threat. Bucky had a hand in front of Steve though, clearly prepared for a fight. Natasha acted on her reflexes and jumped in front of Pepper to protect her. Which meant Clint was selling it. Natasha if anyone knew how aggressive he really could be. Clint's eyes started to fill up with tears, and Natasha's usual cold face which meant I'll-break-your-bones-unless-you-move switched just enough that Clint knew she believed him. Clint took a few steps back, looking at his hands as if he didn't know what he was doing. He looked up at Pepper and whispered a quiet "sorry". As soon as the words had left his mouth, he ran out of the room and straight to the elevator. As the doors had closed him into the small space, he let himself relax.

"Damn. Maybe I should become an actor."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm super sorry that it took so long to get this chapter out! School decided to be a bitch and take every second of my time. But, as a I'm sorry-gift, I'll be publishing another chapter this week. Preferably before Saturday. So, heads up for that! Also thank you for the love, you're all amazing! Also the upcoming chapters will be at least twice as long as the first two. This is just me warming up ;)  
> -RB


	3. Legolas.

Clint did leave on his bike that night. Not the one Tony gave him, but on his trusty Triumph. It felt good to get away from the others as the pressure of keeping Tony's death a secret grew every minute. It wasn't as if Clint couldn't do it. He was after all trained to not let any secrets out of his mouth.

As he sped down the streets of New York, Clint realized that the pressure didn't come from the team not knowing about Tony. It came from what the team thought they knew about Tony. To the entire team Stark was dead and Clint felt...guilty. He realized that none of his team mates would meet Tony after his funeral. They would grieve - the amount varying of course - but to everyone else, Tony really was dead. There was no secret gifts or letters that comforted them. 

Clint tried to push those thoughts as deep as possible but they kept on haunting him, no matter how much he tried to distract himself.

* * *

 

It took Clint two days to come back. It was the day before Tony's funeral. He had spent time in his small-as-hell apartment that very few people knew about. Not only because of his guilt, but also because he wanted his act to be as strong as possible. Time spent away would seem as if he really was grieving. Clint had entered the building with Tony's gift on him.

He had opened the small box once he had gotten to the safety of his apartment. The first thing he had laid his eyes on was something that looked like a hearing aid, but knowing Tony, Clint was sure it was much more. A note was attached to it:  _For the funeral._ Clint had set the tiny device down on his coffee table, and continued with looking through the box. Another small object was laying there. Clint was quite shocked to see it, it was truly magnificent. It was a small arrow, about five inches long. It was made out of the same materials as the Iron Man suit. What was truly mesmerizing about it though, was the tiniest arc reactor Clint had ever seen, built into the body of the arrow. The archer couldn't even comprehend how it was possible, the reactor was the size of a coin. Well, Stark was a genius after all. On the back there was something engraved: _To my Hawk, x Tony._ Clint laughed out loud. Stark was a sly bastard, of course he'd ask Clint to be his fake boyfriend, when Tony wasn't even there to make it believable. Clint thought back to the letter from Tony.  _Better bring your Shakespeare._ Oh, he sure would.

What he did not expect when walking down the corridor of the common floor was the welcome. Not a warm one, but as emotionally straining as it could've been. The entire team as well as Pepper and Coulson were there. The second that he stepped into view, the whole team turned to him. Not a single smile could be seen in the room. Not even a sad smile was given to Clint. The lack of smiles was replaced by twice as much of angry glares. The strongest ones being Natasha and Steve.  Natasha he understood, Steve was a surprise.

"Nice of you to show up." Steve said, voice even more stern than on the job. Clint glanced at him, and continued his way past them, towards the second elevator which took them to their own floors above the common floor. He needed to sell the anger. 

"You should show some respect Barton!"

Clint froze. He didn't turn around, but his breathing grew heavier. His blood was also beginning to boil, and that wasn't his acting.

"You have some nerve showing up like this. After skipping the press conferences. Your spot was empty, like you couldn't care less. Do you realize what that looked like to us, to all the people who needed us to tell them what has happened?" Steve was the only one who had opened his mouth. Clint didn't even need to use his acting skills to work up the answer to the question. He whipped around looking straight at the taller man accusing him.

"The press don't want to hear shit about what happened! They want a story. They want to make money off of this. They want to hear us say that it was some criminal organization, and that we'll  _avenge_ his death. Well, though luck, it isn't true. But you want to know what really has happened Steve? He is dead. DEAD! The man who has given everything to protect the earth, to protect you. He's gone." Clint's eyes were welling up with tears, and he couldn't even tell if they were real or fake. "He is gone Steve. And that might not mean as much to you, but it means hell of a lot to me. So, I'm not going to give shit to people who only want to make money off of him. I don't owe them anything."

The entire room was quiet. Clint knew none of them had seen him like this. Not even Natasha had seen this side of Clint. She had been the closest. The team was quite frankly shocked, with good reason. None of them probably thought Clint and Tony had been close. 

"Barton, watch your tone. You're not the only one who lost Stark." Steve's expression and tone had softened a bit, but the tension was still very visible.

"No, I guess not." Clint said, fishing the arrow out of his pocket. "But I'm the only one who lost Tony." He threw the arrow on the table, and made his way to the elevator. As the doors clicked shut, Clint had just enough energy to call out to Jarvis. 

"Jarvis, mic access to the common room." 

"Granted, Mr. Barton." Jarvis quieted down, and the only thing Clint could hear from the elevator speakers for a while was slight rustle and heavy breathing.

Then a broken sob could be heard from Pepper - Clint could recognize even a sound that small with ease. He figured she was the one to pick up the arrow. 

"Pepper what's wrong?" Coulson.

Nothing was said for a while after that, after he could hear a quiet "shit" from Coulson. 

"What, what is it?" That was Banner, sounding as puzzled as a human could. 

A deep breath, presumably from Coulson. "To my Hawk, x Tony." Phil read from the back. 

Clint could hear a few gasps, someone muttering "oh fuck" under their breath - probably Bucky. 

"That...that could mean many things..." Steve tried, but was quickly stopped by Pepper.

"Don't...you know it doesn't. I, for sure, know it doesn't. That's an arc reactor, and Tony doesn't give them to anyone. It means exactly what we think it means."

Next to speak was Bruce. "Did anyone know about this? Nat?" 

No one spoke. Clint could imagine Nat shaking her head, with an annoyed expression. 

"Stark and Barton huh...who saw that coming?" It was Thor, who sounded weirdly human right there. Clint never imagined the god was even capable of not speaking in the "Asgardian way" that he always did speak in.

Clint decided that he had heard enough, and decided to return. He opened the elevator doors - it hadn't moved an inch since he got in. He walked back to the others, and was greeted with confusion, sadness and even sympathy. 

He collected his arrow from Coulson, and hooked it around a leather chord hanging around his neck. He mad sure to look at it for a second, brushing his fingers on top of it, before hiding it under his shirt. He looked at the others, everyone trying to keep their mouths shut. He sighed and sat down on an unoccupied leather chair.

"Ask." That's all he needed to say. He expected Natasha and Steve to speak, but it was Pepper. Expected in a way as well, he guessed.

"When?" Pepper looked broken, like she felt guilty for not being there for either of them. She loved Tony after all, just like the engineer loved her. 

Clint was relieved there had been a short note from Tony giving him some guidelines. He did have to improvise most of it though. Clint spoke slowly, taking breaks in between words.

"A year after the Chitauri. That's when I realized. It wasn't immediate though, Tony took his time." He gave a little smile at that. "It was almost impossible to keep it a secret the last few months though."

Bruce leaned in, and gave Clint's shoulder a slight squeeze. "Why did you keep it a secret? None of us would've had a problem with it."

Clint smiled at him, but shook his head.

"I know you wouldn't have. It's not that. But you guys know us, we are two human disasters...just in two different forms. Everything Tony does is public as hell. He buys a coffee and all of New York knows. And me, everything I do is pretty much monitored by SHIELD. I'm meant to report most of my actions to them. We wanted to have something to ourselves. Something no one else knew about, something just the two of us shared."

Clint took a moment to feel the arrow hiding under his shirt. He took in a shaky breath - one he didn't have to fake. Talking about Tony to the whole team - which thought he was dead - was definitely nerve-raking.

"We were about to tell you guys actually. Just before..." Tears fell from the archers eyes, falling down his cheeks. He didn't wipe them away - dramatic effects, he told himself.

"Oh Clint." Pepper was up in a second, making her way to sit on the armrest, pulling Clint into a hug. He let himself be pulled into the embrace, and tried to find comfort in it. His heartbeat slowed down just enough for Clint to avoid a panic attack, but the guilt burning in his gut tried to make it's way up to his head. He pressed it down with all the strength he had left. He really didn't need that now.

"Will you be able to uh...attend tomorrow?" Coulson asked. Clint sighed, and gave a tiny laugh.

"I have to, don't I? There's no way Tony would let me skip any event dedicated to him." The team smiled at him, not really happy nor sad, just a mirroring of feelings. 

Clint excused himself, and made his way up to his nest, as the team called it. It was right below Tony's mansion of a penthouse. Once he was in the safety of his own space, he let it go. He couldn't even get to the bed, he collapsed the second the door was closed, on the floor. He didn't cry, nor did he feel a panic attack coming. He just felt as if his arc reactor had been ripped out of his chest. He tried to pull himself together - you're an agent, he told himself. 

What drove him to the point of collapsing was the uncertainty. Why did Tony do this? Why Clint? Why did Tony fake his death in the first place? All these thoughts ran through his mind as he gripped his arc-arrow and realized for the first time since finding out about the situation: for the first time in his career, he had no idea what to do next.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off I'm sorry, this update is like 500 years late. Had some trouble with my laptop, and once I got it fixed, I just had writers block for weeks. Now, I'm finally getting back to writing, and I'm really trying to get this going.  
> But I hope you enjoyed! I appreciate you waiting so long, and I just love you guys!


	4. Tony Stark gave me aids.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hearing aids Clint! Hearing aids!

Clint had spent the rest of the day laying on the ground, trying to figure out the situation. He lost track of time as he just laid there - hours passed, yet he didn't move. A few hours after sunset he finally collected himself and managed to make his way over to his bed. Not even a minute after falling on it, Clint let himself succumb to sleep. Surprisingly his sleep was quite peaceful, void of any dreams - good or bad.

Clint woke up a little bit before eight. He laid in the bed for 10 minutes and collected himself. Once he was certain he could handle the pressure, Clint got up and walked into his shower, a trail of clothes following him as he shed them one by one. In the shower he turned the water to cold without thinking. Cold calms, that was the only thing going on in his head. It did in fact. The cold water was like a slap to the face which made Clint realize that this was just as important as any mission SHIELD would give him. Tony wouldn't make him wander around pretending to be his...what was Clint supposed to be? Boyfriend? Partner? Long-term booty call? Well, whatever the case, Stark wouldn't make him do it if it wasn't important. They had their pranks, yes, but even Tony wouldn't fake his death only as a prank. That Clint was certain of.

* * *

Stepping out of the shower, Clint felt more self-assured. He would now treat this as a mission, not one of their pranks. The funeral was set to begin at 10 am, so Clint didn't have too much time to waste. He would have to be there at nine, since Steve had announced they'd be doing one more briefing before the formalities. A small one, he had said. Just for a select few reporters. Clint had told Jarvis he'd agree to go, if he didn't have to lie about anything. Mostly meaning how Tony died, or what they knew about his death. Ironic, since Clint would have to lie. He was, in fact, the only one who really knew what happened to Tony. Of course, Steve had agreed. Clint was quite certain Cap would've agreed on whatever terms, just to have Clint there. 

Clint only allowed himself to look into the mirror for as long as was absolutely necessary. He didn't want to get caught up staring himself down, his conscience eating away at him. So, after drying his hair and checking it - it looked fine- , shaving and having the last glance to see if he looked presentable, he tore his body away from the mirror. He walked over to his closet and opened the door warily. Clint suddenly had difficulty breathing. Inside, was hanging a black suit. All black...all except one detail. Clint couldn't take his eye off it. Somehow  _built into the suit_ was an arc reactor. Clint almost gave a laugh at this, it felt like Tony was convinced Clint needed at least a hundred different arc reactor. He would've laughed, if he still wasn't struggling with his breathing.

The reactor was on the left side, where traditionally would be a pocket. Clint swallowed as he understood that the reactor would be right on top of his heart. That wasn't by accident. No, he'd have a difficult time explaining that to the press. Well, he was in too deep to quit now. Clint took the suit off the hanger and put it on. He did have his struggles, as Tony had  _of course_ chosen a suit just big enough so Clint could breathe. Which meant it was tight. Tighter than he would've liked. Damn Stark, Clint thought as he looked at himself in the mirror. The suit was beautiful at least. Probably worth tens of thousands of dollars. Well, with the reactor the suit was worth millions. "Huh", Clint shrugged. "Never owned anything worth millions before. And all it took was Tony's death." He let out a laugh at that, and made a mental note to punch Stark when he finally met him. If the suit wasn't "a crucial part of the mission", there's no way in hell he would've worn it. 

Clint took out the box he'd been given by Stark, and opened it to find the hearing aid. With a sigh he took out his trusty hearing aid Tony had built for him a long time ago and set it down on his bedside table. Then he took the sleek, black device out of the box and fit it into his ear. Wow, Clint thought. He'd never had a hearing aid so light and at the same time so well m-

"Good morning Mr. Barton."

"Whaaahooly shit Jarvis!" Clint physically jumped and almost crashed into the mirror. "You're in my hearing aids now?"

"Yes sir, in theory. Mr. Stark was certain it'd be crucial with his...plan. The hearing aids double as an earpiece."

Clint took a moment to assess the situation, and decided it was amazing. He had an A.I in his hearing aids. Sick. "So, Stark said the suit and the hearing aids were important today. May I ask why?"

A little-too-long silence from Jarvis gave Clint all the answers he needed. "Got it. I'll find out later." With that Clint looked at the clock to see it was already 8.35. He needed to get out of his nest, so the others wouldn't come looking. He got himself all the way to the elevator - even into it - before he remembered the reactor shining over his heart. Clint took a deep breath, and a second one just to make sure he wouldn't start hyperventilating. He pressed the button for the common floor and started to plan his own testament. After all, he didn't know the mood Natasha was in today.

* * *

 

The second Clint stepped into view from the hallway, he had four pairs of eyes on him. He was really beginning to get tired of having to watch his every move, he felt like every single person was watching him like a hawk. How ironic. Bucky, Steve, Natasha and Bruce were all sitting in the common room, and apparently his entrance had made some sort of impression on them. At least Clint figured so, since three mouths were hanging open. Here goes nothing, Clint thought and made his way to stand beside his team. The tension in the room almost left Clint on edge. It would've, if he hadn't known that he was the reason for the tension. 

"Clint what th-"

"I don't know." Clint cut off Steve who looked like he did when he first came out of the ice. "I just had this in my closet. I know that Tony made it, or had it made or whatever. It just...he was obviously prepared, so he must have known...about him..." The word  _dying_ wouldn't leave his mouth, no matter hard Clint tried. "I don't want to talk about it, frankly I don't want to think about it, not right now." Clint was surprised by his otherwise fluent answer. If only he could keep that up for the rest of the day. 

"I jus-", Steve was having difficulty forming words, so he just let it go and nodded at Clint. Rest of the team didn't even begin to question him. 

"We should get going." Natasha said, making Clint flinch. Her voice was so cold, and not because of sadness. It was filled with irritation. Why that was - Clint didn't know. He would soon enough, as Natasha wasn't the type to stay quiet if she was annoyed. Clint decided to drop it though, since it was in fact the day the team was saying their final goodbyes to Tony. Well, everyone except Clint.

They made their way, from the common room all the way to the car taking them to the briefing, without saying a word. Not even Bruce tried to fill the tense silence with small talk about the arc reactor on Clint's chest. In fact, everyone  _was_ staring at his chest, but no one said a word. The entire car was quiet. Even their driver - some guy Clint didn't know - had been shocked to see the reactor glowing on the archers chest, but at least he wasn't really supposed to talk to the team anyway.

The ride wasn't long, maybe 10 minutes. That ten minutes was enough for Clint to question all the decisions he had made so far. He made sure not to show it to the others, but questions were running through his mind. What if Clint accidentally let's something slip, and everyone finds out? What if the team decides that Tony's death wasn't natural and start to investigate it? What if Clint screws up Tony's plan and gets him killed? His thoughts ran wild but as they reached their destination and the car door was opened, his mind blanked.

The small briefing he had been promised was not small. It wasn't just big either. It was all of New York's reporters and at least 25 different camera crews and enough paparazzi to fill Tony's penthouse in the tower. In that moment only one question remained in Clint's mind: what the hell had he gotten himself into?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, sorry a short chapter today, but I'm already working on the next one and let me tell you...it's LONG. That will probably be out sometime next week, as early as I can get it done. (no promises, it could be a few days late, a lot of editing in that one) And I assure you, it's not just rambling like this one...a lot is going to happen;) (and I can tell you, it's going to be MAJOR Shakespeare in the park)
> 
> Thanks for reading, love you all!
> 
> PS. Can we start a support group for Clint fans because of Endgame? ...I kinda need it, specially with the re-release coming up.


End file.
